At 14, Rizwan Habib was a Primary 2 dropout, orphaned, homeless and caught in a cycle of crime that would eventually see him jailed seven times.
Today, the 44-year-old social worker helps inmates and ex-offenders rebuild lives, a journey that earned him a President's Challenge Springboard Fellowship on Oct 25.
The programme supports individuals who overcame significant life challenges in rebuilding life. Through this fellowship, Rizwan intends to graduate with a Master's degree in Social Work from the Singapore University of Social Sciences (SUSS).
In an interview with AsiaOne, he recalled his journey and second chance in life.
Rizwan was about five when his father cut familial ties. He subsequently witnessed his mother's struggle with drug addiction, unemployment and homelessness.
By age 11, the only child was stealing and committing petty crimes to feed his mother's drug habit. This led to his first arrest at the age of 12, and he spent three years at the Singapore Boys' Home and Reformative Training Centre.
In 1997, Rizwan's mother passed away from kidney failure.
Yet it was not his mother's death itself that left the deepest scar. More than grief, he remembers the overwhelming loneliness that followed.
"It was like a sucker punch to the face. I can still recall feeling disoriented and lost. I don't think I was a bad kid, naughty kid yes, bad kid, I don't think so," said Rizwan.
Desperate for a sense of belonging, 14-year-old Rizwan looked for comfort in spaces that offered just that — gangs and negative peer groups.
His mother's death pushed him to continue his life of crime, leading to a total of seven jail terms between the years of 1995 and 2019 for drug-related and gang-related offences.
Speaking to AsiaOne, Rizwan said he felt helpless repeatedly landing himself behind bars, but change was not easy for him.
"I had nothing to look forward to, I did not have enough to fill in a resume if I ever went for a job interview, I did not have an education or working experience."
Yet it was also in prison where he began to cherish learning.
After enrolling into prison school in 2005, Rizwan realised he had a "knack" for studying. Earning his 'O' and 'A' level qualifications in 2007 and 2018 respectively, changed how the inmate viewed himself.
"For many years, I defined myself by my failures and offences. Education gave me evidence that I was capable of more," he said.
Reintegrating into society posed a different set of challenges.
"You have to rebuild relationships, manage stigma and navigate a society that has continued moving while you were away. The practical challenges are difficult, but the psychological ones can be even harder," said Rizwan.
After struggling to overcome years of guilt, shame and self-doubt, he came to the understanding that second chances were something he had to work towards through his actions.
He shared: "I realised acknowledging responsibility for my past and believing in my future are not contradictory, and that they can both exist at the same time."
Rizwan said his social workers always stood by him and helped changed his life.
"Becoming a social worker felt like a natural extension of that experience," he said. "To be there for others and give hope to others who feel helpless and lost as I was...What I am doing today does not feel like a job at all."
Today, Rizwan shares his experiences with the inmates and ex-offenders he works with as a social worker with Yellow Ribbon Cares, but acknowledges that every inmate's journey is different.
He recounted an instance where a group of Reformative Training boys asked to meet him.
"They wanted to know from me personally, if what they read in the papers were true, if someone with a primary school education today has a university degree. Someone who grew up homeless today has bought his own home.
"What they wanted to hold on to and believe was that there was hope."
Rizwan reflected that the teenager who felt abandoned and lost would probably struggle to believe he would one day become a university graduate, social worker and fellowship recipient.
Above all, he said his younger self would have felt relieved to know that pain is not permanent and that people can see him as more than his mistakes.
"No matter how broken your story may seem, there are always chapters left to write," he added.
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